It's Friday evening, Barb is firmly "ensconsed" in her recliner with needle in hand, and John says.... "I have to go to Lowe's." (Well, have a good time!)Barb: "Do you need me to pick nuts bolts, and screws?" John:"No, but I thought we'd pick out new countertops." (Crap! Why am I such a wise-n-hiemer? Now he'll probably change his mind!).... Let the games begin.....
Good word! JV wants new countertops. Okay.....("feets' don' fail me now!") "Let's go to Lowe's, and see what they have." Okay...... Barb heads to Formica, and John isn't behind her. Wherever did he GO? "Over here, Claire.... (his "Pet" name for me...)." Barb muses.... "CORIAN????? He's looking at the expensive stuff???? No way.... he'll be back in a minute....lol." Minutes turn into several, and still he's looking at the "good stuff."
Okay.... if he wants to buy Corian, so be it. "I like this," Barb says..... "Prices starting at $59 per square foot, installed" the sign reads. Now.... Barb is doing some quick calculations, and figures that the price alone (we have a
LOT of countertop in our kitchen!)will scare JV away...., then we'll be back at the Formica. "Yeah, he says, it goes with the floor." Well, "Katie, bar the door," pick me up off the floor, and send in the defibrulator!
We're getting Corian countertops! Whooo-hooo!!!
Turn the page....
Now it's Tuesday, the new countertops have been measured, and JV is so excited, he begins to tear the kitchen backsplash off..... new language learned..... "Maybe my Father (who installed the original kitchen 20+ years ago) will remember how he attached everything..... " Nope, give the guy some credit..... he's over 80! Be thankful he remembers anything at all, and he DOES! He has a brilliant memory, but it doesn't extend to "Now how did I attach the countertops in the house on Crossover Road?" Sheesh! "Well," says, John.... "I'll just start here at the Char-glo, and work my way around the kitchen." (Pick the hardest countertop first - yup!) Insert, New language learned here..... !@)%&$)%&+($# !!!!!!
Now.... as the countertops are being removed, Barb decides to try her luck.
"Uh... as long as we're doing the countertops....."(insert very long pause here.....),"do you think that we should re-do the ceramic tile backsplash behind the stove and Char-glo, too?"
The new countertops will be delivered and installed on this coming Tuesday afternoon.
Turn the page to Saturday.....
Time: 7:30 AM
Place: Kitchen
Who: John
What: "I'm going to remove all of the rest of the countertops today."
WHAT??? Uh.... er.... "Where are you taking me to eat for the next 3 days" You can see that Barb has her priorities all in order here! After all... is IS "All about ME," right?
Fast forward to the end of the day on Saturday.... here's the result:
"Toast, anyone?" Served on the "fine matching china, too!"
"Easy Access to everything.
Who needs a "pull out" pantry, anyway?
My new "
appliance Island."
Good thing these new countertops come with a new molded kitchen sink, too!... because....
THIS ONE won't cut it for very long!
It's only big enough to cook a Turkey!
"Anybody seen the phone?"
